Lindsay - “COLE! I got 100 on my exam Nigga Bitchhhhh!”
Cole - “I’m…so happy for you… nigga bitch?
2 months ago
Lindsay: Theres this girl that looks like the cartoon dog part thats attatched to the cat in that show with the cat attatched to the dog.
Cole: … You mean Cat-Dog?
Lindsay: Yeah, whatever.
2 months ago
Watching a show about Siamese Twins.
Dad: Imagine you and Lauren were conjoined?
Lindsay: Fuck no, I’d have killed her!
Dad: You’d both be dead.
-Cole.
2 months ago
You may have noticed that my posts have been lacking recently. There are two main reasons for this.
The first is that neither of my sisters live with me anymore, and without them, my mother is just a woman who swears alot.
Secondly. I’ve recently realized that half of the shit Lindsay does is only funny if you can actually see it with your own eyes. Lots of snapping, stuttering, eye rolling and MMMMMMMKAYYYYs make her more of an elderly black woman than I have ever met in my life.
Thus… It is my promise to you dear readers, to try to capture some of lindsay’s finer moments on film.
In the meantime, you can check out my other Tumblr www.daveandcole.tumblr.com if you really need some more funnies in your life. The posts are just as dumb, but with less females. Yayyyyy Gender equality!
Let the games begin!
-Cole.
3 months ago
In our younger years, my sister and I were often babysat by our grandpa because no babysitter was able to handle us together. we noticed that our grandpa was always just… falling asleep at random. My sister and I were very hyperactive kids and noting my grandfather’s intermittent sleeping patterns, the game of all games was invented.
It was called naked day.
The purpose of the game was to get from one end of whichever room my grandpa was sleeping in and back without him waking up…in the nude. My sister went first and just as she made it almost half way my grandpa woke up. My sister immediately ran in the opposite direction directly into the door frame knocking herself out… completely naked.
- Bev
3 months ago
My Valentines Day involved eating Chinese Food with my family, and then cutting my sisters weave out of her hair for an hour.
If that’s not a perfect day of romance, I don’t know what is.
4 months ago
I asked my family recently what they thought about the blog… here’s some answers.
Dad: Do I need a computer to see that?”
Lauren: Sa’ighttt… (Seriously that’s what she said.)
Lindsay: “I feel like we shoulda been blonde”
Mom’s Boyfriend: “You really shouldn’t put those things up, it just makes your mom angry”
Mom: “Fuck off”
- Cole.
4 months ago
My cousin brought her new boyfriend for dinner, and he happens to be Jewish. He seems pretty excited about having his very first Christmas dinner of all time with us.
My aunt makes Ham.
-Cole.
5 months ago
For a long time everyone in my family was pretty sure I was gay. I mean… not that I gave them much proof against that fact. I was chubby, was in drama, and had a terrible lisp. I knew in my heart of hearts that those were the reasons girls didnt like me, but everyone else took them as signs that I enjoyed penises.
Anyways. at a particularly frivilous point in my life a few years ago I had gotten over my awkwardness and had several lady friends on the go.
One day, my mother watching a girl do the walk of shame from the Shed, says to me…
“I swear to God Cole, if i see one more girl leave this house, I’ll call your uncles and tell them you’re gay.”
“No one is going to believe that mom.” I replied, thinking myself intelligent, “Everyone knows I’m not. I like girls. Its pretty obvious.”
“Fine,” my mother replied with a devilish smirk. “I’ll just tell them you’re having sex with fat chicks instead.”
I immediately ceased my adulterous ways… until I moved out.
-Cole.
